Cottage cheese.

   Good day, internet eyes. Today has been eventful in a shitty kind of way. Literally.

   I slept in for starters. When I did finally drag my ass out of bed it promptly dropped two-horseloads into the porcelain throne. After I washed and rinsed, I repeated this drill about 5 times. At one point I resigned myself to the bathroom, grabbed my newest booklove and decided I might as well make myself at home. A few minutes later I felt better, so I decided to take a shower and sleep for a bit to see if that would help. Within moments of my head hitting the pillow the toilet called me back, this time sucking me dry from the other end. Vomit wasn't as plenteous since I hadn't eaten, but that didn't make things much better for me. There's nothing like a little hot diarrhea and dry heaving to start off your day. Surprisingly, I felt better after this.

   "Maybe I just need to eat something." my brain thought. It apparently stopped thinking after that because I grabbed a full container of cottage cheese and a spoon. We didn't have any clean normal people-sized spoons so I grabbed a serving spoon and started eating with that. I stopped halfway through my meal and started laughing because I began to wonder what my future cottage cheese upchuckings would look like.

   I'm still in agony but I have been able to keep the food geysers from erupting for a good couple of hours now.